Top Ten Cynics of All Time

Alameda, CA. – June 20, 2005 – For the first time, the most cynical men and women of history have been rated, ranked, and elevated to the list of Top Ten Cynics of All Time, as voted for by the members of the Cynical Web Site.

“If I had to nominate the most cynical people of all time, I would vote for our own members,” said Guy Smith, Chief Cynic at the Cynical Web Site (www.Cynical.ws). “But our members won’t let me vote, or handle sharp objects, so I have left it up to them to select who in human history has the most suspicious outlook on their fellow man.”

Members of the Cynical Web Site rate the most detracting quotations from both famous and infamous individuals. After two years of evaluations, the most caviler carpers and scoffing skeptics have been identified by the millions of Cynical Web Site members (estimates of the number of Cynical Web Site members provided by the CIA’s Iraq Weapons of Mass Destruction Intelligence Group).

“Aside from an odd fellow named ‘Unknown’, the top cynic of all time is still the legendary Ambrose Bierce,” said Smith. “Ambrose is still going strong even with the handicap of being dead for almost 100 years. This only goes to prove that good prose and an acute distrust of your fellow man is timeless and highly profitable.”

The Cynical Web Sites Top Ten list demoted other literary louts to this new low honor. Bierce shares top horrors with Robert Heinlein, Mark twain, H.L. Mencken and P.J. O'Rourke, among others. However, there was one interloper in the top ten list, that being the Cynical Web Sites own heathen headmaster, Guy Smith.

“This is frightening,” said Smith. “Of the top five Cynics of All Time, I’m the only one still alive. This does not bode well for me.”

The Top Ten Cynics of All Time were ranked based on daily voting by Cynical Web Site members. Members rated quotes from various luminaries of gloom, and the top cynics were ranked based on both how cynical each quotation was as well as how often members responded to each quote.

The final tally of the most cynical people in human history is:

1. Ambrose Bierce
2. Guy Smith (discredited)
3. Robert Heinlein
4. Mark Twain
5. H.L. Mencken
6. Oscar Wilde
7. P.J. O'Rourke
8. Laurence J. Peter
9. Dorothy Parker
10. George Bernard Shaw

“The Cynical Web Site has been a labor of loath,” said Smith. “But it fills a needed service in modern society. The Cynical Web Site spreads a clear an unfiltered perspective life, and repeats in painful detail the enduring truths about our species, politicians, lawyers, God, and other suspects.”

About the cynical web site:

Founded before the general public could spell “internet”, the Cynical Web Site is an online library for cynical word definitions, caustic quotations, and millions of Murphyisms. Members have a free subscription to the Cynical Word of the Day, a morning email containing a more accurate definition for words than Webster could possibly provide. Members can also receive a Morning Murphyism, to prepare themselves for a day full of everything going wrong.

Contact:
Guy Smith
guy@cynical.ws
510-693-4477
http://www.Cynical.ws