Tom Cruise Ranks No. 1 in Top 10 Celebrity Trainwrecks

Here at Media Orchard, Tom Cruise is one of our favorite actors. He's also a smart businessman with good instincts. No actor in Hollywood — not even Tom Hanks — has done a better job of picking movie projects over the course of a 25-year career.

But, as Cruise has demonstrated in recent weeks, even the most successful businessman needs a good public relations advisor. Tom fired his PR firm last year in favor of his sister, and now all hell has broken loose. His career may never be the same.

So, to remind all of us of the importance of public relations — and because it was something fun to do over a beer last night — Media Orchard has come up with a list of the "Top 10 Celebrity Trainwrecks, 2000-2005."

They are:

1. Tom Cruise. "Matt…Matt…Matt!!" And he's supposed to be making the case AGAINST Ritalin?

2. Michael Jackson. The caboose that just keeps crashing.

3. Courtney Love. Needs attention like most people need oxygen.

4. Ashlee Simpson. They aren't booing…they're chanting "Ashlee, Ashlee!"

5. Britney Spears. Quoth Britney in her recently departed reality show: "The sex is real good. Our sex is so good. I've had sex three times today!" But who's counting.

6. Mariah Carey. All that glitters is not gold lame.

7. Robert Blake. Like Michael, he's again free to roam the earth. Those Southern California prosecutors are a crack squad, aren't they, O.J.?

8. Anne Heche. It happened in 2000 so it's kind of old news now but…what beats showing up whacked-out at a complete stranger's house, asking to take a shower and then telling the cops that you are God and will return everyone to heaven in your spaceship?

9. Kobe Bryant. From Goody Two-Shoes to Shoeless Joe before our very eyes. Time to get your Zen on, Phil.

10.Lindsay Lohan. OK, so she hasn't actually had a meltdown yet. But it's coming.

Unfortunately, there were so many deserving candidates that Media Orchard was forced to exclude Mike Tyson, Liza Minnelli, Robert Downey, Jr., Rosie O'Donnell, Whitney Houston, Scott Weiland and Winona Ryder. We're sure their publicists won't mind.

For more media and public relations hijinks, visit www.mediaorchard.com