Live From Totally Clueless University… Dear Incompetencia

November 21, 2005 (PRLEAP.COM) Education News welcomes Dear Incompetencia to its growing family of advice columns.

Want to know why nothing at your college ever goes right? Welcome to the administrative offices of Totally Clueless University, home of everybody's favorite do-nothing, know-nothing, academic administrative assistant, Incompetencia. Need your change of major form filed before the semester deadline? Not when there are nails to be filed instead. Worried about recording her reality TV shows instead of recording your tuition payments, Incompetencia is so useless, she makes Karen Walker look like the Employee of the Year. Incompetencia handles questions on all aspects of college life from dorms to dating, from the student union to the science lab. Ask away and you'll swear Incompetencia works at your school…and just maybe she does!

Dear Incompetencia is a tongue-in-cheek column that gives those unsung heroes and heroines of the college scene their day in the sun. (Of course, Incompetencia would forget to pack the sunblock and everyone would end up with severe burns and heat stroke, but that is all in a day’s [lack of] work for Incompetencia at Totally Clueless University.)

Not content to mangle just her administrative tasks, Incompetencia takes on all things college related. While sincere, her advice is as useful as an oiled up pig at a debutante ball or a half-eaten turkey leg attached to a water lily. Though many seek it out for its amusement potential, none should follow it.

“Well I never,” Incompetencia responds when told that people are informed they should not follow her advice. Then she catches a glimpse of herself in her always-open compact mirror, “Look at me. The hair, the nails, the exquisite makeup, the flawless features, hello, look at the boobs…who am I kidding? Of course I have. A lot too. Have you seen that new Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences? He’s actually hot! Or was his name Dean and I met him outside of the Art Building? Or was it the Science Lab?” She strokes her hair lost in what passes for thought and continues, “Um, where were we?” Yes, boys and girls, that is our beloved Incompetencia.

Writer Matthew W. Grant, founder of, says, “Anybody who has ever attended college will swear that he or she knows exactly who Incompetencia is. In fact, thinking back on my own college days, I have a few people in mind! If my experiences and those of my friends from various universities are any indication, it’s a safe bet that Incompetencia is a fixture at every college in the country!”

For more information and a sample column, visit the main website page ( or take the Incompetencia shortcut at combines traditional advice columns with the emerging concept of direct personalized advice.

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